So Tuesday at marching band I was going backwards on this really difficult move I have and I hit a pot hole, My ankle twisted and I tried to ignore it since band was almost over for the night anyway. I got home and tried to keep it elevated hoping it would be all better by tomorrow, it wasn't. I got band the next day and went ahead and marched on it for a good hour. Then I got to the difficult move, did it once and didn't make it to my spot, did it again and hurt my ankle even worse. SO much I started crying... if you don't know me that well, I don't really cry, especially in front of people. So I hobbled over to Mr. Perkins and told him my ankle was hurt and I couldn't march anymore. he then proceeded to tell me to go inside at sit down.
Once I was there he came in to check on me and had me call my mom, at that point I wasn't crying anymore. I called her and she said she'd have my step dad come get me, I immediately started crying again. I didn't want to leave band!! I felt like I was letting everyone down. Then to top it of Mr.Burk came in and told me he was proud of me... -_- and he was going to give me bandsmen of the night... I didn't want it!! I thought there were multiple other people that deserved it!! So I went home and after band got out people were texting saying all this stuff and talking about all the stuff Mr.Burk said about me and I really didn't even want any one to know about what happened.
Then the next day at band he mentioned me...again!! I heard that Wednesday night he told everyone I had personal pride, Personal pride?? How could I have had personal pride when I was just being myself???
Friday, August 20, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Mexico Missions 2010
Missions is a big part of my chruch, The Crossroads, and almost two years ago when my family started going there they were talking about going to take blankets to Mexico and later told my parents that I wanted to go on the trip with, even though I knew they would never let me go on my own. Surprisingly when I did tell them Bob, of all people, was the one that almost immediately said he would go with me. So during Christmas vacation I went on my first mission trip to Mexico. We handed out blanket in a little fishing village on the border of Mexico called Las Higarillas. It was truly amazing, but that's another blog. Then that summer I went back and my life was changed once again, plus I was officially amazed by and addicted to missions.
Yet this blog is about neither of those times, this blog is about this summer, in which we didn't go back to the fishing village that I had fallen in love with but we went farther into Mexico. We drove past the second checkpoint to Tula Mexico where we would be going up the mountains to the last village on that trail. This gorgeous village is called San Fransisco. It was 36 miles from Tula yet took 2 hours to get to. Unlike the typical blogger, in this blog I'm not going to start with the first day of our wondrous trip, I'm starting at the last day we were in San Fransisco.
The last day we were there we all walked down to the river and went swimming. the walk wasn't that long and it was beautiful there. Once we were there there was this big cliff and Pastor Shawn climbed up it and jumped off of it. It looked like so much fun!! I instantly forgot I was afraid of heights and climbed up. When I got up there I looked down at the river and freaked out. I stood there for about 10 minutes freaking out with people in the river encouraging me to jump. Soon Grace climbed and jumped off I looked and thought about it some more, then.....I climbed down. I jumped from a lower spot and felt, for a too short time, the feeling that your stomach is going into your throat. and loved it, so I climbed back up the big cliff and jumped. 4 times. It was truly amazing. After as we were talking back my pastor said to me something along the lines of "Some of the most amazing things are scary to get to."
Conquering your fears are hard, but once you do, even if for a short time, the effect is amazing. The freedom I felt while falling in the air is amazing and indescribable, kinda like God. In those moments I think the reason I kept going back for more is the fact that every time I jumped off that cliff that small amount of time that I was free falling I caught tiny glimpses of how amazing My God truly is.
So my parting words are : Even though the climb is difficult the view is even more amazing.
Yet this blog is about neither of those times, this blog is about this summer, in which we didn't go back to the fishing village that I had fallen in love with but we went farther into Mexico. We drove past the second checkpoint to Tula Mexico where we would be going up the mountains to the last village on that trail. This gorgeous village is called San Fransisco. It was 36 miles from Tula yet took 2 hours to get to. Unlike the typical blogger, in this blog I'm not going to start with the first day of our wondrous trip, I'm starting at the last day we were in San Fransisco.
The last day we were there we all walked down to the river and went swimming. the walk wasn't that long and it was beautiful there. Once we were there there was this big cliff and Pastor Shawn climbed up it and jumped off of it. It looked like so much fun!! I instantly forgot I was afraid of heights and climbed up. When I got up there I looked down at the river and freaked out. I stood there for about 10 minutes freaking out with people in the river encouraging me to jump. Soon Grace climbed and jumped off I looked and thought about it some more, then.....I climbed down. I jumped from a lower spot and felt, for a too short time, the feeling that your stomach is going into your throat. and loved it, so I climbed back up the big cliff and jumped. 4 times. It was truly amazing. After as we were talking back my pastor said to me something along the lines of "Some of the most amazing things are scary to get to."
Conquering your fears are hard, but once you do, even if for a short time, the effect is amazing. The freedom I felt while falling in the air is amazing and indescribable, kinda like God. In those moments I think the reason I kept going back for more is the fact that every time I jumped off that cliff that small amount of time that I was free falling I caught tiny glimpses of how amazing My God truly is.
So my parting words are : Even though the climb is difficult the view is even more amazing.
Monday, April 26, 2010
One For Christian Yougas
Lives are taken
Loved ones lost
A day of crying,
A moment to be tossed.
Silence in halls,
Stillness of entire schools,
Parties still going,
Lives still moving.
One day was the only thing a whole life earned.
A life of lives being taken.
A life of loved ones lost.
A life of crying,
No moment ever to be tossed.
Silence slipped off his lips,
Stillness now invokes his whole body,
Parties at a stand still,
No ones life is moving.
Doesn't his life deserve more than a day?
I may not have known Christian very well but he was still human, still a part of all of us. Whether you knew him well, barely did, or didn't at all you still care, you still worry for his family. You still wonder what was going through his head in the last moments of his precious life. You wonder was it because he felt alone in the world? Did someone he love reject him? What was wrong with his life? Could I have stopped this?You hurt for this lost soul. Well at least for the day...
You hurt with everyone for a day at the most. As I say this you say to yourself, ' I must be one of the ones who cares enough to worry for more than a day' Two days maybe? A week? A month? Yet do you think that worrying for a month is enough when he may have worried for a lost one for his whole life?
I may be over stepping my bounds, crossing the line to some uncharted territory that I have no right to be in, but I speak for not only Christian, but for anyone who has lost someone they love and not gone a day since with at least one thought about said person. I speak for those people who, loved someone that dearly but now worry about Christian for this instant in time and then tomorrow it will be as if nothing has happen. If it were you, if you had taken your life because you could not stand one more day in this hateful, unappreciative world, would want people to remember you like this?
So I ask you, as you sit at home, with your families, friends, or alone I ask that you take a moment to think about what I have said. Would you want to go out like that...Lost in a Sea of Faces??
Loved ones lost
A day of crying,
A moment to be tossed.
Silence in halls,
Stillness of entire schools,
Parties still going,
Lives still moving.
One day was the only thing a whole life earned.
A life of lives being taken.
A life of loved ones lost.
A life of crying,
No moment ever to be tossed.
Silence slipped off his lips,
Stillness now invokes his whole body,
Parties at a stand still,
No ones life is moving.
Doesn't his life deserve more than a day?
I may not have known Christian very well but he was still human, still a part of all of us. Whether you knew him well, barely did, or didn't at all you still care, you still worry for his family. You still wonder what was going through his head in the last moments of his precious life. You wonder was it because he felt alone in the world? Did someone he love reject him? What was wrong with his life? Could I have stopped this?You hurt for this lost soul. Well at least for the day...
You hurt with everyone for a day at the most. As I say this you say to yourself, ' I must be one of the ones who cares enough to worry for more than a day' Two days maybe? A week? A month? Yet do you think that worrying for a month is enough when he may have worried for a lost one for his whole life?
I may be over stepping my bounds, crossing the line to some uncharted territory that I have no right to be in, but I speak for not only Christian, but for anyone who has lost someone they love and not gone a day since with at least one thought about said person. I speak for those people who, loved someone that dearly but now worry about Christian for this instant in time and then tomorrow it will be as if nothing has happen. If it were you, if you had taken your life because you could not stand one more day in this hateful, unappreciative world, would want people to remember you like this?
So I ask you, as you sit at home, with your families, friends, or alone I ask that you take a moment to think about what I have said. Would you want to go out like that...Lost in a Sea of Faces??
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)