I've gone through a lot of struggles lately and haven't really, truly been able to went about them, and even though maybe no one will ever read this, it feels good to be able to let my feelings out. So a year ago on February 7 my brother and parents got into a fight, which resulted in my brother hurting himself in order to get out of the house. It broke my heart. Along with that a guy that I had liked since fifth grade had recently pretended to like me to TRY and get sex. So needless to say that month sucked.
This year around that time I had some good stuff going on in my life and some really crappy stuff happening. My best friend was in the midst of getting together with this guy she liked, whom also happens to be a good friend of mine, and they were both going to me and telling me how she/he was sooooo amazing. I was,kinda, in a way, sent back to last year with the guy that I had liked so much and thought the world of. I was getting depressed and never talked about it, because, well I don't do confrontations or talk to people about stuff. So I started self harming because everything was so bottled up and I couldn't get past the things that this guy had said to me last year. My best friend saw it and told my parents. So they put me in counseling and things were going better. Until two weeks ago.
Me, my best friend, and two other friends were at Taco Bell after youth, just hanging out. My best friend had just broken up with her boy friend and one of the other girls liked the same guy as one of our other friends. So they saw some stuff going on and called the girl a whore. I didn't agree with the situation but things had recently started getting better so I didn't wanna mess them up by arguing with them so I said some things in agreement to appease them.... (kind of reminding my of what happened before WWII). Well the next day my best friends ex asked me why we had called whore that. I said that I didn't called her that and it was none of his business but if he really wanted to know then he should ask her why. He didn't like that answer but preceded to call her and tell her that I said that she was the ONLY one who said that. She got mad at me and refused to talk to me then. I had officially lost my best friend when all I was ever trying to do was keep her as a friend. Our youth pastor sat down us girls and talked to us, kind of sorted everything out. But my and my now ex bff were not talking still. I missed her.
She did end up talking to me again but even so it has never been the same. We definitely aren't best friends now and I miss that. I don't have a best friend right now. It kinda sucks. I miss my best friend! Where did she go? I need her back.
